Remembering my first meeting

Hello, everyone and welcome to Day One of The Serenity Channel! I am so excited to see this project finally get started. It will be great to get to know you all and hear you share your experience, strength and hope.

It has been quite a journey. My life changed on October 9, 2005 when I attended my first 12 step meeting. At that time, things in my life were very chaotic, very toxic and very out of control. I blamed everything and everyone for my misery. My relationship was falling apart so I started seeing a therapist, looking for that “magic bullet”. Fortunately for me, part of her therapy was to require that every patient of hers enroll in a 12 step program. For me, she suggested Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA).

I remember how badly my hands were shaking when I entered my first meeting. I thought, “Why am I here with all of these f’d up people?” How boring to have to sit there and listen to people complain about their miserable lives. I was angry. I was scared. I was resentful because, of course I was “not like them”. But then the most miraculous thing happened. I enjoyed it. I felt light for the first time in a long time. I saw people being honest and vulnerable and trusting…and I just listened. (Listening was not something I had previously spent a lot of time doing!) Their stories were my story. I saw the hope and heard the pain and it was mine. I went out and bought Melody Beattie’s books and the CoDA BigBook. I read and cried that someone had finally given a name to what I was feeling.

I was home.

After about 7 months in the program, I found a wonderful sponsor and started formally working the steps. I remember not sleeping the night before I was to do my Fifth Step with my sponsor. My fourth step had really shaken me up, but I did it. For the first time in my life, I took responsibilities for my actions instead of always blaming others. I made my amends as best I could and when I got to Step Twelve, I thought hard about what kind of service to do. That’s when the idea for The Serenity Channel came to me. I had been traveling for weeks before this and could not always find a meeting on the road. I really missed the fellowship and the reinforcement that came from hearing the powerful messages others had to share. Since a meeting wasn’t available, I wished I had a place to go to hear a quick message of hope from others working a program like me. That’s when I realized I could create such a place online and I started working on The Serenity Channel.

I have always been terrible at journaling long hand, but I’m glued to my PC, so this will hopefully get me to do my daily work - maybe this will be the case for you, too! Whether you call in and leave your personal message or comment on the posts you read, I hope you come back daily and become a part of this online fellowship. If you dont have a meeting today, visit us and share a message or post a comment to encourage others. Email us if you don’t see your program represented or if you want to be an Author. We will soon be adding podcasts and daily meditations for you to download, so get your iPods ready!

I am happy to share my joy with you all! Keep coming back - it works if you work it!