Am I giving all to God?
I have experienced four spiritual awakenings in my life. Within each and every on of them I felt the presence of God and the freedom of letting go of my willful self-centerdness. But none of these God conscious epiphanys got me clean and sober.
I am so grateful to God that I am an alcoholic. For were it not for my disease, I would not have come to believe that I cannot do this thing called life without creating wreakage. Hell, it took AA for me to realize I even did wreakage. Without the simple steps of recovery I would still be out there thinking grandiose ideas that I tried to implement with a pititful and patheticself image.
It took complete demoralization for this alcoholic to be felled at the knees by the ax of Divine Love. My selfish self-centerdness destroyed my relationships long ago. It was only a matter of time before it destroyed my body.
I can no longer afford to selectively choose what I need to give to God. And I no longer believe that God needs me. And likewise I don’t pray for others selectively either. i.e.: Please let that person find sobriety, please give that person someone to love them, please save that person’s child from drug abuse.” Who am I to decide what would be best for you? Only God knows how to love perfectly. I pray for knowledge to know his will (willingness to listen) and the Power (Holy Spirit) to do it. I pray the same for others.That’s the only way I know how to get out of God’s way and let His Will, not mine, be done.
The daily goal is complete serenity, a giving up of expectations, a letting go of the reins. The peace that passeth all understanding (because self-knowledge availed be nothing!) is in a continual daily, moment to moment, decision to decision to surrender.
The end goal may be to die sober. But the journey is meant to be one of walking on water.
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1 comment:
Very nice! I will print this and refer to this from time to time if you don't mind!!
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